I went to an Alicia Keys concert on Tuesday night. Having gotten on the tube home with as much of the population of the arena as could reasonably fit into the carriage, I resigned myself to standing for most of the way home, as did many other people, and put my iPod earphones in. Given the number of people in the carriage, people were pretty much standing everywhere, and there was a rather boisterous lot of middle-aged women standing near the doors.

The train stopped for a bit between stations for no apparent reason. Suddenly, I heard a man's distinctly Caribbean accent come over the speakers:

"Do not lean against the doors. I will cancel this train, you hear me?"


If that's not a truly Onion-Sauce! moment, I don't know what is.