Scandalising me is more or less like tickling me:

The overwhelming majority of people who have tried have found themselves incapable of doing it, but once you've discovered how to do it, it's ridiculously easy.

I was reading about Silverchair's Daniel Johns today and the fact that his anorexia caused him to drop to about fifty kilograms at his nadir.

My reaction was:

"Fifty kilograms? I only weigh fifty-seven kilograms!"

I was more alarmed by the fact that he was scared that all apples contained razorblades, frankly.

Am I missing something?

I loathe people addressing me by my last name. I absolutely detest it. It drives me batty. My last name is not my name. I am not in an English boarding school. And it's not like there are other people in uni who share my first name. If nothing else, the use of my surname in conversation is conclusive proof that the speaker is not someone I'm very fond of, since my close friends never use it. My close friends all address me by my correct and full first name, strangely enough, despite many nicknames having been invented for me over the years, some of which are still in use.

Come to think of it, unlike many other people, the use of nicknames for me is an indicator of emotional distance, not proximity.

In any case, I'm going to use some excuse to change my surname in the future. It's a rubbish surname, and I doubt it'll cause substantial harm for me to change my surname if, say, I get married or something. (Yes, I am aware that I wouldn't ordinarily change my surname in such a situation. So what?) In addition to ridding me of this ridiculous thing, it will also enable me to be completely untraceable, since possible blasts from the past will have no idea that I've changed my name, or, even if they do, they won't know what I've changed it to.

It's too much to ask, though, that my parents also have no idea what I've changed my name to, isn't it?